


standing tall on your horizon

by blueluna_lunablue



Series: little wanderer [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-06 08:06:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12813225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueluna_lunablue/pseuds/blueluna_lunablue
Summary: "Adam wasn’t sure when Henrietta became more than just a place for leaving. The trailer park was here, yes, but so was the remaining whisper of Cabeswater, the ley line, and the Barns. Somehow Henrietta had become the place where he had found friendship, love, and magic, and the idea of leaving made his heart ache a little.He was deeply rooted here, and no matter how far he wandered, he would always feel the pull to return."In which Adam makes an important decision about his future.





	standing tall on your horizon

**Author's Note:**

> 'guiding you home to me' from Adam's perspective.  
> (you don't have to read it to understand this)

Adam Parrish’s college application list looked like something you’d see in a movie: Yale, Stanford, Brown, Harvard. All Ivy League, all far, far away from Henrietta, Virginia. But after he and Ronan started dating, he quietly made two additions: University of Richmond and Georgetown.

He didn’t mention it to Ronan. He didn’t want to jinx it.

Adam wasn’t sure when Henrietta became more than just a place for leaving. The trailer park was here, yes, but so was the remaining whisper of Cabeswater, the ley line, and the Barns. Somehow Henrietta had become the place where he had found friendship, love, and magic, and the idea of leaving made his heart ache a little.  
He was deeply rooted here, and no matter how far he wandered, he would always feel the pull to return.

 

Adam didn’t know why he was so anxious about telling Ronan. Well, he did. But it wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on. Ronan was so _powerful_. Adam had only borrowed magic, and now that had been taken from him. If he wasn’t magic anymore, why would a magic boy want him? Maybe he should just go as far as possible, and let time and distance do the work, so that he didn’t have to hear Ronan say it, that they were over. 

The logical part of his brain said, _you’re being stupid_. But he couldn’t stop the tendrils of insecurity from twisting around him. So he didn't mention it to Ronan, reasoning that he only would if he was accepted. 

In the meantime, he was greedy with Ronan, a starving animal. They'd always been physical; Ronan always expressed his emotions best through actions and touch. Adam had been surprised but delighted to learn that Ronan Lynch, scourge of Aglionby, street racer, punk, was a  _cuddler._ He couldn't get enough of Ronan. He'd corner him in the kitchen as he was heading out to do farm chores and kiss him long and hard against the counter. He'd pull him onto the couch when he was supposed to be studying. He'd knock the books aside as he pinned Ronan to the cushions and ground down onto his lap until they were both sated and gasping. He'd grab his hand on the table at Nino's and kiss his cheek so that everyone  _knew_ they were together. Adam felt a little crazy with want.The thought of going to college and not having this anymore made him even more desperate for Ronan's touch. 

As graduation neared, Adam knew that he was acting odd, and that Ronan was wondering what was going on. He was obsessive about checking the mailbox. Every morning, he'd check. He'd stop after work at the garage to peer desperately into the box, as though he make a letter appear through sheer force of will. He'd sneak out during those rare moments Ronan fell asleep on the couch. It was stupid. He couldn't stop. 

It was ironic, he thought, that he'd wanted to escape Henrietta for so long and had thought it was impossible, and now, he desperately wanted to stay. But that long-awaited letter remained elusive. 

He’d all but given up on it. It was April, now. If he was going to hear back, he should have by now. Adam sighs as he walks to the mailbox. One last time, he reasons, and then he’ll stop driving himself mad. He’ll enroll at one of the schools in the northeast that accepted him and say goodbye to Ronan.

So when he opens the mailbox and it isn’t empty, his stomach drops.

Sure enough, the envelope bears Richmond’s postmark. He can only hope that it will say what he desperately wants it to. And that Ronan will say that he doesn't want him to leave. 

He walks in through the kitchen door with the envelope in his shaking hand. Ronan is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee. He looks up at Adam when he enters, and he must be able to tell how scared Adam is, because he asks, “What’s that? Are you okay, Adam?”

Slightly emboldened by Ronan’s use of his first name, Adam holds the envelope up. “I was waiting for this,” he says, pleased to note that his voice is steady, although his hand is not. He gives it to Ronan, who looks it over silently.

“Can I open it?” Ronan asks. Not trusting his voice anymore, Adam nods. Ronan tears the envelope open, slides the letter out, and reads it aloud: “ _Dear Mr. Parrish, after reviewing your application, we are pleased to offer you acceptance into the University of Richmond class of 2020…_ Then there’s this shit about a full-ride scholarship. Damn, they really want you at this school, don’t they?”

Adam leans back against the kitchen table and exhales shakily. “That’s…that’s good.” It’s better than good, really. If Ronan wants him to stay.

“Wait a second, Parrish,” Ronan shakes the envelope at him. His voice is suddenly accusing. “I though you were set on this Ivy League shit. “What’s all this about Richmond?”

Ronan’s staring at him and his face is hard and closed-off. Adam twists his hands behind his back and looks down. “Well,” he says slowly, trying not to focus on the rapid hammering of his heart. “None of them offered me a full ride. And Richmond is a great place to be for law. Close to D.C. and all that.” _Breathe,_ he tells himself, before he gathers his courage and says, “And, um it’s close enough that I could visit sometimes on the weekend? If you want me to.”

Ronan is silent. Adam chances a quick glance at his face, which is stony and expressionless. _Oh._ Stupidly, he stutters, “Well, I was just… it was just a thought.” He quickly steps past Ronan to leave the room. _How could I be so stupid?_ He’s not crying, but he feels his eyes burn and thinks that in a minute, he might. _You should have known he couldn’t want you forever._

“Wait, Parrish-Adam.” He feels long fingers wrap around his wrist. “Adam.”

Adam turns back to face Ronan. “I’m sorry,” he says, trying to delay what he knows is inevitably coming. “I just-I thought-”

“You’re an idiot.” Adam flinches and Ronan quickly amends, “For thinking I don’t want you here all the time.”

It takes him a second to process what Ronan is saying. When he does, he looks up with surprise, to see Ronan looking at him. Despite the harsh tone of his voice, his expression is open and tender, and his hand is gentle on Adam’s wrist.

Adam lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding and smiles. “Yeah?” He pulls his wrist away, so he can grab Ronan’s hand. He squeezes it once, quickly, and looks back up.

“Yeah, _obviously._ Dumbass.”

His fears, which threatened to choke him only a minute ago, are gone. He drops Ronan’s hand in favor of winding his arms around Ronan’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss. Ronan’s hands come up to rest on his hips, pulling him in closer. After a moment, Adam pulls back to rest his forehead against Ronan’s. Ronan smiles, uncharacteristically sweet.

And then he ruins it. “For someone who got into such a swanky school, you sure are stupid.” Adam pinches his side and revels in the way his laughter rings through the house.

They both laugh for a long time, not because it was that funny, but because they’re both relieved and happy. Ronan tucks his head into the crook of Adam’s neck, and Adam can feel him smiling. “I love you,” Ronan says after a minute. “You’re always welcome here. I thought you knew that.”

Adam feels like he might cry again, but for a different reason this time. “I love you, too,” he says into Ronan’s hair.

Ronan pulls back and looks him in the eye. “One more thing. Don’t give anything up for me, okay?” He says. His jaw has a serious, determined set to it, but Adam can see the shadow of sadness there. “I don’t want to be the reason you pass on an Ivy League. I’ll be fine on my own.”

Adam shakes his head, smiling softly. “I’m not giving anything up.” He had been surprised to realize that, but it was true. He _could_ go to Harvard, but it would be like Aglionby all over again-too many hours working, not enough sleeping or studying, no time for himself. Or, he could go to another excellent school and be much happier than he would have been somewhere else.  “I’m going to a private school on a full-ride scholarship. I won’t have to kill myself working to avoid tuition. I’ll be close to the ley line.” He looks up at Ronan through his long, light eyelashes. “And I’ll be able to visit my boyfriend on weekends and breaks.”

Ronan grins at him, savage and happy and beautiful. Adam can’t stop himself from kissing Ronan’s smiling mouth. Ronan hums into the kiss and cradles Adam’s face in his hands. They kiss like that for a long time, until Opal comes galloping down the stairs screeching about breakfast. And Adam thinks that everything is going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> So a little while ago I wrote a short fic called 'guiding you home to me.' It's basically this story but from Ronan's perspective. I realized it came across as Adam sacrificing his ambitions for Ronan, which I never wanted it to be, so I wrote a continuation. I view it as a compromise-Adam realizes that he can attend a prestigious school and leave Henrietta, but he doesn't have to sacrifice Ronan or work himself to death to do so. As always, I greatly appreciate kudos/comments/constructive criticism. Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
